You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
