Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
