i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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