also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
