were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
