its not stalking. its research.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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