"it" just moved
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
