I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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