oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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