Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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