Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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