Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
