Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
