i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
