I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
