check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
