Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
