Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
