areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize