I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
