For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Come on in and take your pants off
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