I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
As shirtless as possible
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize