Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
