I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
