i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
