Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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