my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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