He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize