Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
