the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize