Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize