i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
