Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
