Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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