i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
