Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
