did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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