There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
