If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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