smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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