Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
