Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
