how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
