Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you would pick up someone in the library
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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