So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So many bounce houses so little time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
