Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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