so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
