sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
