for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize