She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
