yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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