Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize