I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
