Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
