Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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