the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
