Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
