He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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