Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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