she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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